Coming out of the closet, sort of

I spent my childhood being fairly accomplished academically. Top of the class in most things, but not all. I got tired of school and tests and pressure, and for all elective classes, picked things like art and sports - where there was no homework and no tests. I was average in both of those and content with that.
I'd always dreamt of joining the photography club, but never had the nerve to do it for several reasons. One, I didn't want to do more things associated with school and the other kids there that bullied me almost to death, and two, I felt hampered by the academic side of things. I was never going to be 'the best' at art or sports and also people seemed to bully me further when I stepped out of my proscribed area of academics. When a girl I was mostly friendly with that had been in a choir with me in a different school and I started singing / humming together after class one day, we got signed up to the talent competition we had no interest in joining. We weren't allowed to remove our names and were told to prepare an act and show up. I don't know why, but we did, and sang. It wasn't bad, we didn't win but we also didn't get jeered off stage. But people seemed angry with me, like I wasn't meeting their expectations (these being the people that didn't know me because they were busy bullying me) by doing something 'creative'.
My family has also been odd about this sort of thing - my mum famously said when I'd passed the audition to move from the 'anybody can join' little kiddie choir to the more grown up performing choir when I was 10 'really?! YOU made it??!' (tone of voice was somewhat unbelieving), punctuated with a laugh / snigger.

And yet, here I am. I'm married to a creative person, I'm studying design at an Arts university and feel more at home there than I ever did anywhere else. I take photographs. I make jewellery. I make my own models for school. I make clothes. I do all sorts of creative housey things, like baking, cooking, gardening and DIY, from making beds to painting ceilings. By most people's reckoning that would also make me creative.

And it feels a little odd, hard even, to say to people, 'I am interested in art. I am interested in design. I like to make things'. It feels like a dirty little secret, like I'm coming out of the closet as something other than what people think I am. So with apologies to my gay and lesbian friends, I'm coming out. I am creative.

But I hardly ever sing anymore.